I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
