In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
