apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
