four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
