He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
