My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
