All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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