So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
