Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
