This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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