so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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