he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
