just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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