Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
