She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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