He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
