You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
please come you make the beer taste better
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
