So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
