So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
