that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
