is wine microwaveable?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
