Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
