Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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