She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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