Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
