I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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