stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
