ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
