Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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