where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
