after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
