Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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