drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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