margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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