i barfeds in our rink
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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