I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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