I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
