so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
