bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
