Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
