This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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