I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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