You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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