He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
