i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
