Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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