That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
