I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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