So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
