Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize