Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
